


(Lock)pick your way through (my heart)

by apatia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Gen, Gratuitous use of italics, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lance (Voltron) Being Lance, Locksmith Lance, Mentioned Keith (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt Being a Little Shit, YouTuber Keith (Voltron), based on that lockpicking video, locksmith AU, thats a thing now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26380672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apatia/pseuds/apatia
Summary: "I've been picking locks for longer than I care to admit, Pidgeon, and I'm sick! Sick of people coming in here expecting me to pick locks while blindfolded upside down just because they saw some guy on YouTube fake it!" he'd snapped, definitely not pouting.The little gremlin had had the galls to smirk and answered with yet another thing one should never, ever say to Lance, specifically."I bet the LockPickingPaladin could do it"
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	(Lock)pick your way through (my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO HELLO THIS IS PROBABLY THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEn and it's all a certain someones fault...  
> This is highly inspired by this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSuaUok-wTY) YT video and I recommend watching it for maximum effect!! I might consider writing more for this AU, i kinda want to write smth from Keith's POV now
> 
> Some things not mentioned:  
> \- There are some brief flashbacks in here  
> \- Keith is the LockpickingPaladin and he has a fairly popular YT channel where he opens locks  
> \- Lance has a weird onesided rivalry with him  
> \- Pidge is 100% done with Lance's b*llshit  
> \- I didn't know which "weapon" to give Lance and i was kind of thinking abt a rubber chicken named Duck but.. didnt rly make sense and we can only have so much nosense

Lance was in the middle of closing up shop, humming along some Top 10 Hits playing softly on the radio when a loud bang startled him into motion, hands shooting behind him to grab the first thing they came in contact with.  
Swiveling in place, weapon clutched to his chest, he prepared himself to face the burglar who dared setting foot into his hole-in-the-wall locksmith shop.

"Pay up b- why are you holding a screwdriver?" the intruder asked, blinking several times behind their round glasses.

Lance glanced down before quickly placing the screwdriver back onto the counter and shrugging, feigning nonchalance. 

"Yes. What's up, Pidgeon? Came here to beg for my forgiveness?" he greeted, smirk coloring his tone.

Pidge seemed to recollect themselves then, their grin turning downright evil. They closed the short distance before hopping onto the counter and unceremoniously shoving their smartphone into his face. Spluttering indignantly, he pried the device away from his nose to take a look at whatever had Pidge so excited.  
His eyes went wide, then narrowed.

Pidge's phone was open on a YouTube video called " _Locksmith Says My Videos Are BS... Loses $75 (Maybe)_ ". The video was only 3:50 minutes long.  
Without saying another word he grabbed it, thumb smashing on the play button.

" _ **This is the LockPickingPaladin, and I've just received a written challenge in the mail, that I can't do justice without sharing in its entirety**_ " a too familiar voice droned, the camera focused on a small cylindrical package and a letter, "READ THIS LETTER BEFORE OPENING THE PACKAGE!" written in bold letters at the top.

Lance's throat constricted as a pair of (stupid) fingerless-gloved hands entered the shot, their (also stupid) owner opening the letter with little ceremony. He stared at the screen with bated breath as the youtuber started reading the letter in that same monotone that grated on Lance's nerves every time he watched one of his videos (it's _not_ like he was subscribed to his channel or something!) and he asked himself for the nth time why he kept watching them.  
(He also ignored the little voice telling him he had no reason to listen so intently to the guy as he read the letter out loud. He knew exactly what it said.)

\---

Pidge had strolled into his shop a couple weeks prior, bike's lock in hand. They'd called out a single "Hey! Catch!" before chucking it at Lance (thank god for his reflexes, that thing was _heavy_ ) and plopped onto the counter. They'd then told him they'd lost the key somewhere (" _Yes, Lance, I checked in my backpack. No,_ Mom _, I'm not telling you where I was_ ") and gave Lance their best puppy eyes and asked him if he could pick the lock instead of cutting it.  
Still bristling from the earlier treatment, Lance had taken a cursory glance at it and answered that no, there was no way he could pick that kind of lock.

Pidge had scoffed and proceeded to say something one should never, ever say to a locksmith.

"Boo, you whore" Okay, not _that_ part, he was actually pretty proud of them for quoting Mean Girls. But _then_ they had rolled their eyes and tacked on "I saw a guy on YouTube pick it."

Lance, rightfully and visibly irritated, had barked a loud laugh and jabbed a finger at Pidge, frowning.

"I've been picking locks for longer than I care to admit, Pidgeon, and I'm sick! Sick of people coming in here expecting me to pick locks while blindfolded upside down just because they saw some guy on YouTube fake it!" he'd snapped, definitely not pouting. The little gremlin had had the galls to smirk and answered with yet another thing one should never, ever say to Lance, specifically.

"I bet the LockPickingPaladin could do it" they had singsonged in a sweet voice, at which Lance had gasped indignantly and stomped towards the back, yelling something along the lines of "He's full of crap and you know it! Have you seen his stupid fingerless gloves?! How can you take that guy seriously?!"

(He had then tried picking the damn lock just to prove his point.)

\---

The youtuber was still reading the letter when Lance tuned back in, recounting what had happened after.

" _ **After talking about lockpicking videos for a few minutes**_ " more like ranted about his _stupid_ gloves and his _stupid low_ voice " ** _He told me he was willing to put his money where is mouth is_** " damn right he had! He was crazy good at his job and if this guy could actually pick the lock he would be impressed.

" _ **The locksmith said I could send you the remains of my bike lock in a sealed package and if you could open the package on video and pick the lock faster than he could open it with a grinder he would refund the 75 dollars he charged me for the job**_ " weeell, that part was technically wrong, Pidge had taken some creative freedom when typing down the letter.

\---

After trying and failing (just like he said he would!) to pick the lock, Lance got struck with the best idea he ever had, only second to that one time he, Hunk and Pidge had tried putting fried breadcrumbs on pasta. He'd turned to Pidge with a shit-eating grin, chest puffed out and had shoved his phone into their tiny hands.

"I bet I can cut this lock faster than he can pick it"

With a manic grin, Pidge had jumped off the counter and started the timer as soon as Lance had grabbed his tools and lowered the grinder to cut into the lock.  
And that's how they had beat 40 dollars before Lance, drunk on power and maaybe feeling a bit overconfident, had doubled down, claiming there was _no way_ the guy could even open it.

\---

" _ **We timed him cutting my lock. It took 2 minutes and 14 seconds**_ " Lockpicking guy then finished reading the letter and gave a brief run down of the lock and explained it wasn't Lance's fault he couldn't pick it (Yes, _alright_ , he hadn't exactly used those words.)

At the 2:06 mark, Lockpicking guy started actually unwrapping the lock from its package.  
He took his sweet time, carefully cutting into the bubble wrap with an exacto knife. After what felt like an eternity the lock was unwrapped and the tools were ready, timer in place.

Lance was already having difficulty breathing on top of trying — and failing — to keep a cool facade but what happened after felt both excruciatingly long and inhumanely quick.

Lockpicking guy fell silent as he worked his tools into the lock, expertly moving his fingers and— _opening it?!_

" _ **Twenty eight seconds**_ " the youtuber announced and Lance could almost imagine the cocksure smirk on the guy's face.

" _ **As you saw, beating 2 minutes and 14 seconds did not pose a significant challenge**_ " Lockpicking guy said, with a irritatingly calm voice " _ **In fact, I suspect it's far less of a challenge than Katie will have trying to get their money back from the locksmith**_ " he then rattled the mandatory like-and-subscribe spiel as Pidge snorted and cackled loudly from their perch on Lance's counter.

"Damn, need some ice for that burn?" they laughed, lifting their glasses to wipe at their eyes "Guess I can have my money now... Lance, why are you blushing?!"

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i'm so sorry


End file.
